I’m new to TikTok. (Follow me:) I talked about all the things I found in my first week of exploration with my three 20-something adult sons, and one responded, “Mom, why are YOU on Tiktok?!”
It was actually a challenge from a session I recently attended. So, I accepted the challenge, dipped my toe in, then fell straight into the deep end. If you’ve spent time there, you know exactly what I mean. One moment, I’m listening to the rant of a congresswoman, then I’m trying to keep up with this delicious looking recipe, then I’m in shock about how you are actually supposed to store your vegetables! Then I look at my watch and an hour has gone by. What has completely surprised me is people put their whole selves out there for the world to see—their talent, their frustration, their rawest opinions. It’s all popping up in my feed based on an algorithm that somehow knows exactly what will keep me hooked! And yet, amidst the chaos, there’s something undeniable: connection.
Nevertheless, we have all seen the data on the dangers of social media. It’s like a drug, pulling you into an illusion of community while intensifying isolation. The curated perfection and even the raw vulnerability of others can make us question our own worth. And when an algorithm dictates our interactions, real human connection becomes even more critical.
There’s a fear that social media—especially something as fast-moving and unpredictable as TikTok—creates an accessibility gap. If you don’t know how to use it, you feel like an outsider. If you don’t get the trends, the language, the inside jokes, you wonder if you belong. But then, there’s the flip side. People keep posting, keep engaging, keep scrolling—because they crave connection. They find their people. They feel seen.
That got me thinking about leadership.
We spend so much time talking about content—what we’re teaching, what we’re presenting, what message we’re pushing forward. However, we cannot forget that connection must come first. It has to, or the information will not stick. If you’re not connected, people tune you out. They don’t care what you’re saying because they don’t believe you see them.
Authentic leadership isn’t about having the perfect message—it’s about building trust so that the message even matters.
But let’s not sugarcoat it—connection in leadership is messy. Workplaces are full of rocky challenges—competition, politics, personal insecurities. Leaders struggle to walk this bumpy road and balance authenticity with authority and vulnerability with respect. It’s hard to be real when you’re also the one making tough calls and setting boundaries. I’ve been in that seat, and you can compromise on either end. Yet, the best leaders are the ones who navigate that tension and choose connection over control.
That’s where collaboration comes in. Leadership isn’t about standing at the front of the room with all the answers. It’s about expressing the vision, making it plain, helping people get on board, and creating safe spaces for folks to be heard and to contribute to the goal. Are you willing to give your best brain power brainstorms to a team that you don’t feel you can trust? It’s about listening first and speaking second. That’s why my work isn’t just about skills and strategy—because the soul of leadership is emotions and character.
Reflection Questions:
- Think about the spaces where you lead. Are you prioritizing connection before content? How?
- When was the last time you really listened before speaking? What was the result?
- Who in your circle needs to be seen and heard? What small step can you take to make that happen?
- How do you navigate the challenges of connecting authentically while maintaining authority and respect?
Call to Action:
This week, challenge yourself to lead with connection. Whether in a conversation, a meeting, or a social media post, pause before you speak. Listen. Acknowledge. Then respond. And if you’re feeling like sharing, let me know how it goes—because leadership isn’t meant to be done alone. Rise UP!
