Episode 29: From Me to We: Relationships! Relationships! Relationships!

TRANSCRIPT

DR. KIM: Welcome back, everyone, to Rise Up and Lead. Real lessons, real stories, real talk. I’m Dr. Kim, and today I am joined by one of my favorite people. I will introduce her in just a moment. We have known each other for quite a while, and I’m so excited that she’s here.

But before we jump into introducing our guest, I want to share with you where we have been. If you remember, we are in the quarter of engagement. Engagement is not participation, engagement is not attendance. Engagement is tapping into the reality of the work, and giving people a chance to give us feedback, and we actually do something with that, and hopefully they will be able to lean in, learn, and engage.

So, I have the incredible Jody Sommerfeldt from Old Dominion University. I’m gonna let her give us her resume, but I have to tell you how we know each other. Jody and I were Technology Curriculum Integration Specialists together in Newport News Public Schools, and when I started in that position, it was 2003 — some type of way back in there. That’s decades, y’all. So, I’m welcoming Jody Sommerfeldt to the mic. Hello, Jody!

JODY SOMMERFELDT: Hello! How are you? It’s great to see you.

DR. KIM: Oh, thank you. You were a TCIS before I was a TCIS.

JODY SOMMERFELDT: I was, just a couple of years prior, yes.

DR. KIM: Okay, and for those of you that are wondering, that position now in most places is called a technology integration specialist, or — we’re the people that help the teachers learn the technology, because way back then, we were just figuring out how to use that technology to teach. So that was our role, and I loved every second of it. Jody, would you just let everybody know what your space is, what you do, what brought you to this position at Old Dominion, which I know you’ll tell us all about, because it has such a special place in my heart for many reasons, as you know.

MEET JODY SOMMERFELDT — FROM SUFFOLK CLASSROOMS TO ODU

JODY SOMMERFELDT: Yes, thank you. So, I started right after pursuing my undergraduate degree — I went right into giving back to the community that I grew up in, and I taught in Suffolk Public Schools for 7 years. Somewhere along the way on that journey, they started putting computers in the classroom, and I’m gonna be honest, when I first was there, they were giant dust collectors and paperweights. And so, somebody had to figure out what to do with these very expensive tools that no one seemed to know how to utilize. So I went back to school and started on my Master’s in Instructional Technology, which ODU was using as a way to get teachers more engaged. They offered a computer science endorsement, which I have — and I say that, and it’s laughable, because today, what a computer science endorsement looks like versus what it looked like in 1995–98 is very, very different. I am in no way qualified to teach computer science, but I do have that endorsement.

I taught in Suffolk for 7 years before going over and embarking on that instructional technology journey in Newport News Public Schools. I had the great pleasure of working at a math science technology magnet school that was absolute heaven — project-based learning, looping, a strong teacher leadership team, really great empowerment of school building leaders besides the administration.

I was there for about 7 years, and decided when my youngest was headed into kindergarten — it was half day in my school division — that I was gonna take a year off, so I could put my baby on the bus, and get him off of the bus, and do homework, and all the things that felt really critical. I did that for a year, and then when he went back full-time in first grade, I went back to my roots in Suffolk Public Schools, in that same type of position — technology resource teacher — for one year. And I got a call from a former professor who said, “Hey, Jody, we have somebody retiring, and I think you’d be a great fit for the position.” I told him I’d pass it on to all my friends who were looking for a job, and I declined — and after a couple more phone calls, he said, “Where’s your application?” So I went ahead and applied. He had to sort of jerk me into that role, but after interviewing, I was so excited to embark on a different arena — no longer classroom leadership, no longer school leadership. It’s now leadership of those folks who are becoming classroom leaders, and that was a different foray for me to enter into.

And people would ask, “How’s it different — teaching college students versus first graders?” And I have to be honest, for me, it’s relationships, relationships, relationships. It is no different other than I no longer wipe noses and tie shoes — but the teaching is the same, the getting to know the student, the care, the passion, it’s all the same.

DR. KIM: I don’t think I realized that was your journey — so when you got to Newport News, you went into that position, you didn’t teach at Newport News.

JODY SOMMERFELDT: Correct. It was my first time as an instructional technology resource person — TCIS is what we called it then. But what a wonderful opportunity to grow — had a community of learners, this professional learning community in my TCIS colleagues across the division, a wonderful community of strong teachers in the building I was in, strong leadership. If I could go back and build a school and an experience from scratch, that is my Edutopia. It was phenomenal.

DR. KIM: It was. We worked with the likes of Susan Pilan, Kathleen Pietrazonta — may she rest in peace, I did have an opportunity to interview her before she passed. That was some good learning, and I really appreciate the way you said that — it was learning community before we ever started calling it PLC.

FROM K–12 INTO HIGHER ED

JODY SOMMERFELDT: I went into higher ed, and the reason they hired me was to teach that instructional technology class, and I loved it — it was different every semester, because technology was ever-evolving. But after teaching that class only for 5 years, I went to my department chair and said, “What else could I do? How can I make an impact in a different way? I need a new challenge — I know me, I haven’t stayed in any place longer than 5 years, and if I don’t get a new challenge, I’m gonna be gone.” She very quickly said, “How about you start in a practicum class — maybe you can do something where students are actually going into schools. You’re so committed to translating theory into practice — maybe you could supervise student teachers, be out in schools.” That sort of opened the door into this line of work that I became passionate about.

We had an assistant dean move into a different position, and they needed somebody to direct what we called Teacher Education Services — it’s now the Office of Clinical Experiences — the one that does placements and licensure for the college. I worked with a lot of clinical faculty, mentor teachers, worked with school divisions pursuing placements, and I learned so much about how the school system has changed and evolved.

So, 18 years later, I’ve done a variety of positions — I’ve directed the Office of Clinical Experiences, moved into supporting teacher residencies, and I’m currently still supporting apprenticeship — sort of a new horizon in the teacher education, alternate pathway certification field. One of the things I’ve really enjoyed, and how we sort of reconnected through this, is supporting the folks who are going to be supporting the teachers we’re putting out in classrooms — clinical faculty. We used to say “cooperating teacher,” but these teachers are getting trained with a skill set in listening, coaching, and mentoring that I didn’t get when I housed a student teacher. It’s a different skill set to teach 6-year-olds than to work with 21-, 22-, or 42-year-olds — a different power dynamic, a different way of engaging.

My work in preparing clinical faculty has now transferred into deeper partnership work with school divisions — this semester I’m teaching on-site in a school, so my students will be in a classroom at ODU, and part of their time on-site will be pushing into classrooms at a local elementary school, getting hands-on practice even though it isn’t formally part of the course. We’re making it part of the course, and I’m excited about it, and students are excited about it.

DR. KIM: I think you highlighting the fact that these aren’t just regular teachers — these are teachers taking new prospective teachers under their wing, and they need a different level of training — that’s the current stance that you and I both share a huge passion about.

WHO ENLISTED YOU TO LEAD

DR. KIM: One of our signature questions — from my research at that same institution, Old Dominion — was that concept of engagement: someone usually shows you a future for yourself that you didn’t envision, they see something in you, they tap you on the shoulder, they voluntold you whatever it is. Who enlisted you to lead? And we recognize there may be more than one, depending on the timeline of your journey.

JODY SOMMERFELDT: I think I was a slow learner. I think people tapped me into leadership positions, and I didn’t believe them — so really, it was a series of people. It took a lot of convincing, and every leap of faith I took to move into a new leadership position, I really had people that were pushing.

I think it even started back when I was a kid — maybe my impatience in some situations pushed me into leadership. When I would look around and see something needed to be organized, or handled, I would wait patiently, and when nobody jumped in, I saw that something needed to be done, so I jumped in. It started in my kindergarten classroom — Debbie Jones, my kindergarten teacher. This was the ’70s, y’all, so she would leave to go take her bathroom break, and what did she do? She sat a chair up, set Jody in the chair, gave me a pad and paper, and said, “It’s nap time, everybody’s head should be down — you need to report to me who’s not napping.” So I think Debbie tapped me in first — “please leave this classroom in my absence, I know you’re 4, but please…” — and I did so willingly.

But it’s really been a series — I loved being a teacher’s helper, I loved helping my colleagues and students and peers in the classroom. Elementary, middle, high school teachers would say, “Do you want to work with so-and-so? I think they’d benefit from learning a different way.” So I sort of got recruited in that role by teachers. And sports played a role in it too — team sports, and learning how to bring people together around a common goal.

DR. KIM: What did you play?

JODY SOMMERFELDT: I played softball all the way through — t-ball all the way through high school — and I cheered from the time I was 4 years old. I know that surprises you about me, Kim.

DR. KIM: It does!

JODY SOMMERFELDT: Always doing the rah-rah-ri. I even went back and played women’s softball for years, and co-ed softball with my brother, until the kids got busy and I had to put their needs ahead of mine. But team sports played a big role in my life — coming together around that common goal of success, and seeing how every little piece matters. Everybody doesn’t have to have the same strengths, but together, building upon one another’s strengths, we’re bigger and better.

DR. KIM: I’m so glad you said that you kind of jumped in, because everyone doesn’t need to be voluntold. Sometimes people are absolutely ready — “I don’t need anyone to tap me or pull me, I’m ready to go” — and that is the case sometimes.

JODY SOMMERFELDT: Yeah. A lot of times, though, I had to be drug — and I’m gonna tell on my first assistant principal, my first year of teaching. Principal was Wanda Hamilton, assistant principal was Darren Whitney, and I know you know Darren. Darren saw something in me, maybe, that I didn’t see in myself. We were getting ready to go through an accreditation process, and as a first-year teacher, he tapped me to lead a committee. And I thought, “Oh no, not me — I don’t think you want me doing that.” But certainly I rose to the occasion, because I really wanted the school to do good things, and I wanted to be a person who met and exceeded expectations.

Darren would call upon me from time to time to do things I would have never volunteered to do myself, but through him modeling what great leadership looked like — Wanda Hamilton modeling what great leadership looked like — it really encouraged. I’ve worked for some fabulous leaders in my time — Peter Bender in Newport News, who was the principal of Newsome Park Elementary — understood shared leadership, shared governance, shared decision-making. He just got it, and he entrusted his people, leveraged their strengths, and elevated that school to a place it wasn’t before he took over. I had some great role models, some really good leaders along my way that I learned from.

DR. KIM: And that is how we learn, right? Bandura, all day long — we have to see it modeled, we have to see it in practice.

ENGAGING PEOPLE WITHOUT POSITIONAL AUTHORITY

DR. KIM: And for those of you that aren’t in the education space, Dr. Whitney ended up being the superintendent and retired from that position in Suffolk — I’m going to tell him about this when we’re done. So, we are talking about engagement, and you were in a position — the position we both shared — where we were the only person in the building with that role. At the time, it was new, and people were not wanting to even touch computers — I remember being that teacher who pulled my laptop up to put grades in, closed it back up, and ended up in the same space as you. How did you engage the people when you did not have any positional authority over them? You didn’t evaluate them, you couldn’t leverage anything as far as positional power — how did you go about the work of engaging people?

JODY SOMMERFELDT: I think first, I wrestled a lot with imposter syndrome — why would people listen to me? What do I know that they don’t know? So first, I got real humble, knowing I do have skills, after going through a master’s degree, that some don’t have — and that TCIS position is a great example. I moved into a school where I knew no one, and they were already doing wonderful things. I started by building relationships and listening to where people were, and to the people that were ready — the people that had the power to move the needle, I’m gonna start there. But that came with great responsibility to those people — I had to serve them, follow through, and show up for them with integrity. Not just saying, “These are the things we can do,” but saying it, doing it, and then asking, “How did I do?” — actually seeking feedback: “What did I get right? What did I get wrong?”

Feedback is sometimes really tough, and uncomfortable — for the person giving it and the person asking for it. But unless we know where our blind spots are, unless we know where we’re strong and where we can grow, I think we take it to chance about getting it right, and I don’t want to leave it to chance. I still do this with students today — I have a whole spiel prepared for student opinion surveys: “Look, don’t be nice, I want to know the truth. Did this work for you? What worked well? What didn’t? What do I need to get better at?” I’ve never delivered a perfect lesson, never coached perfectly, never had a perfect conversation with a student teacher — how do I get better? Just being in that growth mindset has been a real key for me, and being vulnerable in that space — “I’m doing the best I can, just like you are, and I don’t know everything, here’s what I’m doing, but tell me if it’s not working for you.”

That really helped me build skills in listening. I always thought I was a good listener — I figured out real quick that I was not. It helped me understand perspective in a way I never had before. I’ve got a teacher who’s been teaching 30 years, we want her to integrate technology, she’s resisting, but she’s in a math, science, technology magnet — so there’s a bit of an expectation, and I had a leg up on others in that space. So really listening: “What’s scaring you? What are you fearful of? Can I come in and model? Do you want to do it together? What works for you, friend?” And if I still had resistance, all I did was plaster great student products all over the walls, and watch her students say, “Why aren’t we doing that? We wouldn’t do that.” And then I’d say, “Oh, I’d love to do that with you — let’s talk, I’ll talk to your teacher.” We really just tried to build from what was already happening, and springboard from there.

I can honestly say there wasn’t a lot of great resistance in the school I was in — I had it pretty easy compared to some others. But it pushed me to grow in technology in ways I didn’t even know I needed to grow. A teacher came up and said, “I need you to code a website for me.” Now, coding a website is easy, it’s all plug and play, it’s all visual. But back then, it was HTML — and what did I do? I learned HTML, because that teacher wanted a website, and her kids wanted to display their work that way. I learned great things that way.

DR. KIM: We learned a lot, and everything was changing. And what I heard you say — the feedback and opening yourself up to it — a lot of people would say there is no way I would say “just tell me the whole truth and don’t hold back,” because when there’s no way to capture the responder’s identity, people tend to let loose. But it seems to be something that you invite.

STANDING ON THE SHOULDERS — TRUST AND STREET CRED

JODY SOMMERFELDT: I do, and I’ll say — I stand on the shoulders of the people whose books I’ve read on leadership: Jim Collins, Brené Brown, Simon Sinek. I do a lot of reading around shared vision and shared goals, making sure you’re building that relationship and building a trusting one — through showing up, being reliable, being consistent, following through on everything you said you would do, while also listening for the problems, the concerns. I think that’s what maybe helped establish — I like to call it street cred. I don’t know if that’s the right term, but really just saying, “Hey, y’all, I’m not just talking the talk, I’m gonna walk the walk — and I’m not gonna walk it in front of you, I’m gonna walk it beside you, in our shared purpose.”

And being vulnerable was a key piece of that — a lot of Brené Brown’s work talks about embracing the courage to be transparent about what you know and what you don’t know. That’s hard for teachers — we’re supposed to be the people who know, we’re teaching others. So being transparent about what I also don’t know, and inviting that open dialogue, creates this space where people feel safe to say whatever it is they need to say. Trust really becomes that core value you believe so deeply in that you’re not willing to waver from — you’re never gonna break the trust.

DR. KIM: That is absolutely it, and you hit two of the components I wanted to be sure to cover — leading while learning, because we don’t have to wait until we’re all the way ready, since when are we ever?

THE MISTAKE QUESTION — FROM ME TO WE

DR. KIM: One question I’m asking this season on the podcast is about mistakes. We all have one — what was that one leadership mistake that really taught you the greatest lesson, and how do you show up now?

JODY SOMMERFELDT: So, once upon a time, in a former role, I was so scared to burden others that I took on almost all of the work myself. What I didn’t realize in that moment was the message I was sending to my team — the unintentional message that I was sending, which was, “You don’t trust me enough to do the work.” If someone had told me that was the message I was sending, I would have spread that work out all over the place — I had no idea.

So I think a lesson learned is: no matter what position you’re in, call on your team, call on your village, call on your tribe — whatever it is you phrase it — but use your people, use their strengths, allow them to help carry the load. Because, one, it shows you have great faith and great trust in them. It allows them to see the leadership potential in themselves that they may not have seen — “Hey, I know you can do this, I have nothing but the utmost faith that you’re gonna do a fantastic job on this.”

So in some of my later roles, I chose to spread the wealth a little more — to train someone, work with somebody and say, “Take a stab at it, let’s see where you get, then we’ll work on it together, and then present it to the bigger group.” So I moved from the responsibility being on me, me, me, to the responsibility being we, we, we. Right? From the me to the we. And I think it did a lot of great things — number one, it prepared the next set of leaders, because I could have retired last September, so we’re preparing the next generation of leaders, and they’re going to rise up and lead and do a fantastic job — but we have to allow them the opportunity.

WORDS OF WISDOM FOR THOSE STILL WAITING

DR. KIM: I really don’t have anything else to say about that, but I do want to ask you this closing question. You work with new teachers, or people before they’re even teachers — a lot of leadership work, investing in yourself and in others. There are a lot of listeners for the podcast who are not quite ready yet, or seeking a particular position or direction, or waiting. What are your words of wisdom to them as they wait to step into a formal space of leadership?

JODY SOMMERFELDT: I think I would say, first and foremost — if it’s in your vision, and it’s something you care about, and something you want to do, make your wishes known. Because oftentimes, we see it, we want it, but we don’t say it — and I think saying it is important. That’s a level of vulnerability, because you’ve got to be willing to say, “I really want this position, I would like to do this,” and you’re saying it not knowing if the person is gonna think “yes, you’re a great fit” or “absolutely not.” You don’t know where they stand. But making your desires known, I think, is a great first step.

And then looking at the job, and taking a deep dive into yourself — asking, “What strengths do I have that align with this kind of work? Where are my blind spots, where are my weaknesses, what are my opportunities for growth? How can I develop myself in this waiting space? What are the ways I can make myself better prepared, should I get the position?” And even if I don’t get the position, the silver lining is I’ve worked on myself and built a better skill set that’s going to put me into some other position that maybe is bigger and better than the one I even wanted to begin with. I’m a Silver Linings girly — even in a failure, I am always searching for the silver lining. So if the person you go to says, “No, I don’t think you’re a great fit,” that’s not the end — ask them why. Ask them, “Why am I not a good fit? Because I want to get better — the next position I go into, I want to be a perfect fit. Help me become the perfect fit.”

DR. KIM: Well, those are words of wisdom right there, for sure. Jody and I could talk forever — but we’re not gonna do that. Jody, thank you so much, I really learned a lot about you today. And a lot of what you said, I didn’t feel I needed to echo, because they were things I believed in — having that trust, starting in on those relationships, acknowledging the people that push us, because sometimes a push is what’s needed, and sometimes it’s just taking the risk to say what needs to be said, to ask what needs to be asked. And that certainly connects to our theme for this quarter of engagement.

CLOSING

DR. KIM: I hope everyone’s remembering, from some prior podcasts and the newsletter that comes out every Thursday, that integrity builds trust — as Jody was saying, that consistency, that reliability, trust, trust, trust — and trust sustains engagement. So that’s how I’m going to close this. Thank you so much, Jody! We will see each other hopefully soon. For those of you that want to know a little bit more about the program that Jody works with at Old Dominion University, I will have that in the show notes, so that if you know of someone or want to ask some more questions about this particular program at Old Dominion, we will make sure that you have that information.

So, everyone — every time I think I’ve had the best interview, I have another one. So, what I’m going to say is: leaders are enlisted, most of us never ask for the job, and the job we end up with is certainly probably not one we ever pictured for our future.

JODY SOMMERFELDT: Yes.

DR. KIM: So with that said, please let me know what you thought about this episode — we love to hear your thoughts. I’m hoping you have added to your tool belt, and if you have anything you want to share with me or with our guest, Jody Sommerfeldt, please let me know. So until next time, continue to keep rising, keep leading, and above all, stay true to who you are becoming. Adios, everyone!