When Tapping Doesn’t Work: The Maple Syrup Leadership Lesson
I make this detox drink most mornings.
Lemon juice.
Maple syrup.
Turmeric.
Apple cider vinegar.
It’s my “wake up—get yourself together” ritual…if I wake up on time…
But this particular morning? I didn’t have time for ritual. I was in a hurry. I grabbed measuring cups and poured my boiling water from the electric kettle. I started measuring the lemon juice, then grabbed the maple syrup. I measured out a tablespoon. And then—here we go—I started tapping the side of the spoon to get the syrup out.
Tap. Tap. Tap. Nothing. So I tapped harder. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Still… nothing. Now I’m irritated because in my mind, this should be simple! This should be quick! COME OUT ALREADY! This should be flowing! ARGH! But it wasn’t.
This is when I lost the fight with the spoon! The moment I stopped forcing it—The moment I laid the spoon down on its side—That syrup started flowing like it had somewhere to be. REALLY?!
We Tap on People the Same Way
As leaders, we do a whole lot of tapping:
We tap with reminders.
We tap with directives.
We tap with pressure disguised as “urgency.”
We tap with tone.
“Did you finish that?”
“I need that ASAP.”
“We’ve talked about this already.”
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Then we get frustrated when nothing moves.
When people don’t respond.
When energy feels stuck.
When progress slows down.
So what do we do?
We tap harder.
But Emotions Don’t Move Under Pressure Like That
Here’s the truth we don’t always want to sit with:
People are not tasks. They cannot be approached in the same way. Emotions are not syrup you can shake loose on command.
When someone is overwhelmed, shut down, or uncertain (C of SCARF in danger)—
more tapping doesn’t create flow; it creates tension. Tension thickens everything just like that syrup.
Character Shows Up in the Pause
Now here’s where leadership gets real. Stopping the tapping requires something deeper than strategy: Identity and character work.
It’s restraint when you want control. You have to be aware and hold back when you feel that urgency rising in your chest. You know what I’m talking about. Your task list is extra long, your calendar does not have enough time for all the things, THAT urgency. It’s choosing to shift your approach instead of doubling down on what isn’t working. Laying the spoon down isn’t passive. It’s intentional because it’s saying:
“Let me create the conditions for movement instead of trying to force it.”
Flow Requires Positioning, Not Pressure
When I tilted that spoon, I didn’t add more force. I changed my position, and that’s the work. As leaders, we have to ask:
- Am I creating psychological safety—or pressure?
- Am I listening—or just talking over people and repeating myself louder?
- Am I making space—or closing it?
Because when people feel seen, safe, and understood, they move like maple syrup- slow and smooth!
Not because you tapped harder—but because you led differently.
A Little Something I’m Sitting With… (The new name of my reflection section)
Where in your leadership are you tapping harder instead of shifting your approach?
Think about a current situation:
- A conversation that feels stuck
- A team member who isn’t responding
- A dynamic that keeps repeating itself
Now sit with this:
- What emotion is coming up for me in this situation?
- How is that emotion showing up in my actions, tone, or urgency?
- Am I trying to force movement… or create the conditions for it?
Here’s the one that might really sit with you: What am I afraid will happen if I stop tapping?
Sometimes we keep tapping not because it works—but because slowing down feels like losing control (A in SCARF!)
My Call to Your Action: Practice the Shift
This week, don’t try to fix everything.
Just choose one situation—one person, one conversation, one moment—
where you would normally tap.
And instead:
- Notice it
- Pause it
- Tilt your approach
Then reflect:
- What changed in me?
- What changed in them?
- What felt uncomfortable—but necessary?
