Open Slowly
At my gym, there’s a sign taped to the inside of the bathroom door. Nothing fancy. Just bold black letters on plain white paper:
“Open slowly. Members could be on the outside.”
Now, I don’t know what happened to make them put that sign up, but I do know why it stuck with me…Because one day, I almost became the reason for that warning.
I had just finished teaching my Zumba class—sweaty, tired, and in a rush to get home. I barreled out of that bathroom and nearly knocked out this huge muscle gym dude standing right outside the door.
He jumped!
I gasped!
We both froze!
In that split second, I felt it all—shock, embarrassment, guilt, and gratitude that he had quick reflexes and a forgiving spirit. I apologized. He chuckled. But for real, it could’ve gone left fast.
Ever since then, I creep that door open inch by inch.
I’ve slowed down.
Not just at that door.
Everywhere.
That experience offered more than a reminder to move carefully. It became a metaphor for the emotional doorways we walk through in leadership.
How We “Open” in Leadership
Let’s be honest: we’re often in a hurry.
We move fast in meetings.
We drop feedback without checking the tone.
We initiate change without assessing emotional readiness.
We respond to conflict from our own emotions, without wondering who might be standing on the other side of that emotional door.
And just like at the gym, someone gets hit.
With our frustration.
With our intensity.
With our urgency or our need to “just be honest.”
And that hit? It leaves a mark.
Leaders aren’t just opening physical doors. We’re walking into moments that are layered, human, and often raw. Every time we step into a space, a conversation, or a decision, we’re entering someone else’s emotional landscape—whether we realize it or not.
Open Slowly = Emotional Intelligence + Character
This isn’t about walking on eggshells.
It’s about walking with awareness.
“Open slowly” means you:
Practice emotional regulation when you feel triggered.
Notice the body language or silence before you speak.
Pause to ask questions instead of making assumptions.
Choose curiosity over control.
Let your character interrupt your impulse.
It’s easy to label this “soft” stuff. But this is the soul of leadership: the ability to carry your own emotions and consider someone else’s at the same time.
That kind of leadership…It’s rare. But it’s what people remember. It’s what creates safety.
It’s what earns trust.
Who’s on the Other Side of Your Door?
That’s the question.
Before you give that feedback…
Before you “tell it like it is”…
Before you storm into the staff meeting with righteous passion and a 10-point plan…
Ask yourself: Who’s standing on the other side?
Is it someone who’s grieving quietly?
Someone who’s already bracing for criticism?
Someone who’s tired, overwhelmed, and hasn’t told anybody?
Or someone who wants to grow, but needs grace first?
Your urgency may feel important, even noble. But urgency without empathy is just pressure. Open slowly. People are not obstacles. They are not interruptions to your leadership. They are the reason you lead.
Reflection Questions:
When was the last time I moved too quickly through an emotional moment—and what was the impact?
Who are the “members on the outside” in my current leadership journey? What might they be carrying?
How would my leadership shift if I made emotional awareness a non-negotiable practice?
Closing:
Pick one relationship this week and lead with intentional pause. Slow your entrance. Hold your emotions. Listen for what’s not being said. And when it’s time to open the door—emotionally, professionally, relationally—
Do it with care.
Do it with courage.
Do it from the soul.
Soul-deep leadership doesn’t just knock. It knocks gently.
Your people are worth that pause.
